This Week:
- My final days in Langkawi, from beach sunsets to monkeys and a waterfall hike.
- Flying to Phuket Thailand and going to my first infamous ping pong show.
- Going to a strip club and how it relates to addressing my social skills constraints.
March 2024
| Su | M | T | W | Th | F | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 3/1 | 2 |
| 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
| 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 |
| 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |
| 31 | 4/1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
Where In The World Was I?
Metrics From The Week
Well, I successfully made it back to prioritizing my sleep and routine (and working out)… but then I threw a wrench in things in Phuket which pales in comparison to my struggle in George Town a couple weeks ago 😂… More on that later
I’ve noticed that I started spending the time I usually watch YouTube videos (lunch/dinner) with catching up with WhatsApp messages from the community I’m in, learning from the other guys, connecting, and contributing. I mean the data speaks for itself… 👆
Business Progress Update
This week I updated my Terms of Service and Privacy Policy to comply with the violations I had and resubmitted my quota increase application. Boring stuff, but it’s just the necessary part of doin’ business (I’m not gonna post a picture of my Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, just go to my site to see them 😂)
I also made a couple tweaks to the software – retrained the ML model on more data (~2,000 yes’s and ~2,000 no’s; ~88% accuracy level right now) and added a way to blacklist/exclude specific phrases with the feedback I get.
This week’s big unlock was getting to a place where I’m now ready to finally find and get feedback from target customers (individually).
I reached out to The French Guy™️ I met in Bali and got some really positive feedback from him. More than just “love it, great idea!” (which is not a good response). He actually saw the value immediately and said he would start to use it every week when researching video ideas for his business YouTube channel. THAT is what I’m looking for.
He also had a friend that does YouTube and he mentioned my site to him. Funny enough, his friend had JUST asked him how he could get more unique and original content ideas… PERFECT validation.
I’ve also started “digging my well” and utilizing the 1MH community I joined by reaching out to all the guys who are building a personal brand and/or YouTube (maybe ~6 potential target customers?).
All I can say is after 3.5 years (written November 2020)… I finally have an answer to this note I wrote…
202011092202 Seeing the value of a social network
#socialskills
How do you concretely grasp the value of a social network?
As someone who is independent and focused on making themselves better, how do they make the switch to start investing more in social connections.
## Context
I've heard so much about having a social network gives you a huge advantage and that it's more about who you know than what you know.
However, I keep going back to focusing on myself, learning more things, doing more stuff. How can I get ahead of the learning curve and truly see the value now?
How do you make long-term delayed gratification have instant gratification? [[202011092209 Bringing instant gratification to delayed gratification]].I can’t express how helpful it is to have direct access to my potential target customers without needing to do cold reachouts (which I’ll get to after this first round).
My main focus right now is just getting feedback from those first couple users and maximizing the value for them. I want it to be incredibly valuable first, have people actually using it and relying on it, THEN worry about monetization. I feel fortunate to be in this position to not need the cashflow yet. I think it’s a big advantage that I want to lean into.
This also seems to be the path that Pieter Levels outlines in his Indie Maker Handbook. I haven’t gotten to the Monetization chapter yet, I’m still working on the Launch chapter 😂 (Idea, Build, Launch, Grow, Monetize, Automate, Exit)
Final Days In Langkawi, Malaysia
^ me surprised to find a bar I could do rows off of to work my back
Hidden Langkawi
I found this restaurant (heard it from someone at the hostel) called Hidden, tucked away down the beach. I ate there at dinner (twice) and BOTH times it just fucking hit me…
I sat there just absolutely overwhelmed with gratitude.
Great quality food, amazing view of the beach, insane sunsets, live music, packed with people and energy… Definitely pricey, ~$24 and ~$18, but I leaned into it because I knew I’d remember this moment.
All I could imagine was seeing my past self years ago seeing these photos dreaming of being there… except I was there. It was real. I’m not sure how I got here living this insane life but I’m grateful for every day.
Gunung Machinchang
I decided I needed to do “a thing” while I was in Langkawi to give my future self something more to remember. I went to the Langkawi Sky Cab base of the mountain and did a hike up to this waterfall and water pools.
A bunch of people were swimming in the water pools. I threw on my swimsuit and jumped in. I can’t quite remember how this came up but I leaned into that “playing like a kid” feeling – running my hands through the water feeling the texture, sliding around on the rocks, smiling, chuckling, sliding down the natural water slide. It was fun and felt meaningful to dig up some of that childlike curiosity and wonder again.
Oh my gosh these monkeys were SO adorable. I stood there for like 5 minutes eyes-wide mouth open like a 5 year old just in amazement 😂
Then took the gondola to the top of the mountain.
I saw some sign that this is the highest/tallest gondola in the world. Not sure if it’s true but oh my LORD is it high up 😂😅 (total elevation change ~708m/~2300ft)
+10XP for the non-selfie photo 😎
I took a bunch of photos with my big camera. One of these days I’ll get to all the photos I’ve taken in the last like 6 months so stay tuned 😅
I stood up there for a while just taking in the view. That view of the mountains behind my ✌️ sign hit me in the emotions… started to get a bit choked up looking out into the distance. Every so often I’ll come across some view of nature that just hits me at an emotional level, it’s pretty wild…
Finding My Value
I’ve been loving this community I joined last week a lot. I feel like a completely different person, DM’ing guys in the group to say hi with zero hesitation, contributing to the group, asking questions.
Someone asked about how to pry away from relying on coffee in the group and I threw some thoughts in the ring (sleep, morning walks, sunlight) and posted my 6mo sleep score graph for some credibility.
Turns out the sleep graph sparked some interest because a couple guys asked me for sleep tips right after that. I couldn’t believe the timing because I literally documenting a handful of learnings from my time in George Town struggling with my sleep routine (see last week’s post at the bottom The Week Of Huge Reinvestments And Beach Town Paradise).
I edited and shared my note and it got a ton of great feedback. It felt really great honestly.
This is that feeling of fulfillment I’ve been searching for.
Here’s a #throwback for ya (Nov 7th, 2022):
@4:09 “Honestly I just want to feel valuable. I want to feel valuable to someone else.” 👌💯
God I loved watching this back. This is exactly why I document these things.
Fuck the money man this is what it’s all about.
✈️ Finally Leaving Malaysia…
Wow it’s been a minute 😅 after 10 weeks I finally left Malaysia.
Logistically, I flew Langkawi to Kuala Lumpur, then Kuala Lumpur to Phuket. There were no direct flights even though Phuket is quite close to Langkawi and I didn’t want to complicate things with a land/water crossing.
My KUL to Phuket flight I randomly got assigned the 5th row and there were no other people in the entire row despite a fairly full looking flight. I have no idea why but wow am I grateful that happened.
Pardon my French but HOLY SHIT is it beautiful out here. How is this place even real?
So Phuket is more like a bunch of little towns/districts/beaches. There’s no one “Phuket” that you go to, each area has a different vibe (party, chill, local, etc.). I just did enough research to find some healthy food cafes and a good quality hostel I could potentially work from then sent it.
Unfortunately the Phuket airport is wayyy up at the top of the island and everything else a long drive away. I arrived around 6:30pm and decided to skip the airport SIM card and take the chance.
Probably questionable judgement 😂 Don’t tell mom 😅
1 hour 30 minute drive in the dark, with no phone data (I had downloaded offline maps beforehand), the Grab airport pickup point was at a whole different side of the airport, the guy’s plates/car didn’t match the one on Grab because he just got a new car, he took all the local side streets instead of the main highway/roads (probably to skip the traffic), and I don’t think he spoke much English 😂
I’m sitting in the back wishing I had started MMA training and how I would dip out of there if shit hits the fan 😂
We arrived fine with no issues. No complaints 👍 Sometimes ya gotta just throw some trust out there. What did people do before phones? 🤷♂️
Island Beauty
I really haven’t been to many places out in this area of the world yet, but all I can say is that everything I’ve seen is insanely beautiful…
Cafe Culture
Holy, the cafes here are amazing.
It ain’t cheap here, but yep. This is it. This is why I want money and how I want to spend it 😍
- Espresso, bottled water, kale chicken salad, sweet potato fries, mixed berry smoothie ($27)
- Fresh coconut, chicken caesar salad, truffle pasta ($21)
- Espresso, healthy breakfast, thai iced tea frappe ($22)
- Salmon poke bowl, chicken caesar wrap, mixed berry smoothie ($22)
Culture Shock
So, as a reminder, I’ve been in Malaysia the past 2.5mo. The culture is very conservative, very religious, majority muslim.
For example, all the pools and beaches I’ve been to, all the local women wear full body swimsuits. All the lingerie stores use mannequins (in most cases) instead of those massive posters of basically fully nude women (like the U.S. 😅).
I’ve gotten eyes post-workouts but that’s been mainly it.
While there’s some difference to be expected here as I’m staying in a very party/nightlife area of Phuket (Patong), the differences in culture are DRASTIC.
There are Thai massage places on every corner, with women sitting outside on the steps getting people to come in, it’s a big beach town (people walking around in swimsuits), and the nightlife is a prominent feature of the town.
For example, I walk out the door of my hostel and plastered literally right on the other side of the street is this 8ftx6ft poster of a woman front-on in a bikini.
I’ve been here literally 48hrs hours and I’ve had:
- A Thai woman approach me then literally hold onto my arm as I walked across the street asking me “where are you from?? ;)”
- Massage ladies on the sidewalk reach out and touch my arms or chest, or block the sidewalk in front of me so I walk into their arms and then hug me as I walk by, or grab my arm and try to pull me back from walking away.
- Pole dancers (clothed) that you can see from the street (open air bars right on the street)
I went on a run (shirtless, obvi, it’s bloody hot out here, but also yeah it’s fun I won’t lie 😜). Sure there’s a certain level of this to be expected… but on this run I was getting borderline catcalled by these women oh my god 😂 I had my headphones in and mostly just kept looking straight, but had ladies holding their hands out in front of me as I ran by, one went “oooo nice back,” another went “oww oww oww!” and another went “woOOOOowwww” turning her head as I ran by 😂
I heart that last one and literally couldn’t hold back a “smh” type of smile/chuckle, then proceeded to stop paying attention to the ground, hit an uneven brick, tripped, and almost absolutely ate it into the pavement 😂 but luckily saved it.
What is going ON here 🤣🤣
Let’s just say it’s been a BIG culture shock coming from Malaysia. I’ve been working a lot on controlling my sexual energy in the past month and made a lot of progress, but I can tell it’s really being tested right now 😂😂
I won’t claim one culture is better than the other, memories are memories (up until it affects your goals/mental health)… but what I’m re-learing is just HOW impactful your environment is.
It’s such an obvious idea, but it’s amazing how much of a difference it makes. Doesn’t even need to be specific to women.
My First Ping Pong Sex Show
So uh… speaking of testing how well I can control my sexual energy…
Disclaimer: there are no NSFW (not safe for work) pictures here but I’m just gonna assume based on the title of this post and the title of the header you can expect what you’re getting into 😂
I told you about how much research I did before picking this place. All I knew was that it’s the “party” area of Phuket. When I shared I was coming to Pa Tong with someone at the Langkawi hostel they said “oooo you gonna go to a ping pong show?” I had no idea that this is like literally THE place for these.
So when in Rome 😂
I have no other pictures… for obvious reasons 😄
Here’s that full story:
Since this is MY website 😤 and there’s no content moderate for what I get to post, I’ll add a bit more color here to what I hesitated to share in the YouTube video:
- I got one of the best seats in the house, front and center on this couch. Almost immediately they brought over one of the girls and she sat down next to me, touching my leg, asking where I’m from, stuff like that. I was assuming this was something they did for solo guys that came in. I was there mainly to watch the show so I just wasn’t really expecting it. She also wasn’t exactly my type but I decided to lean into it.
- Maybe a couple minutes later this other girl came over and brought a rack of shots. The first girl moved to sitting on top of me and the other girl was next to me. They held up a shot for me and I gave a “nah nah nah it’s okay” which turned into an “allllright fine” after some insistence 😂 The girl on top took her top off and squeezed a lime on her nipple for me to… clean up 😂 Then they took some shots.
- It was mostly a lot of this type of stuff while sitting there watching the different acts on stage. The acts rotated every couple of minutes. Group of girls dancing then taking their tops off, a weird act (painting glow in the dark paint on each other), then an actual ping pong show act, then a MF act, etc. etc.
- The actual ping pong show acts were things like: dropping live fish out into a bucket, shooting ping pong balls into the crowd, drawing “Welcome to Phuket” with a marker, shooting balloons with darts, pulling out a string with razor blades and needles attached. It was… weird… and wild.
- I was feeling pretty good, confident, relaxed, not overthinking. Nothing crazy but I had some nice witty jokes and back and forth. It was all going well until the bartender came over and insisted that I pay for all the racks of shots and whatever the heck else was on the bill that I didn’t knowing agree to 😂🤦♂️ Newbie mistake. Lesson learned. The girls left after that 🤣🤣 Ohhhhhh… I get it now 🤣🤣
When In Rome Phuket (Part 2)
Saturday night I decided to go out and see what else is up here in town. Someone from the 1MH community gave me a recommendation for a bar… “adult entertainment club”… strip club 😅 to go to.
This room was smaller, more “intimate.” Small rectangular bar-like room, big table in the middle with poles and women dancing, seats immediately around, then tables along the wall (where I sat). Entry was free but you had to buy a drink, the cheapest being a standard beer for 99THB ($2.76) (12oz or 16oz, one of those)
The girls here were quite attractive to be honest, much more so than the ping pong show place. And most of them had these foam whacker things (like a small pool noodle) and they’d go around and playfully (but very forcefully 😄) smack people, then give the noodle to the guy and have him whack her. It was a really lively and fun vibe in there.
One of the girls came over and sat next to me, we ended up chatting back and forth for a while.
I’ll save some of the more specific commentary for just my future self 😄
This content is not ready to be made public yet.
I literally still can’t believe it.
We had some back and forth, about travels, how long I’m here for, what I do, etc. Turns out she studied math and statistics and knew a bit of Python, Java, and C++. She also had a TikTok and wanted to one day build an audience and sell body oils. I’m sitting there like bro what the f*ck is going ON right now.
I dunno I’m not a big strip club guy and I hear the common complaints about objectifying women and such.
I was the guy in there trying to have a genuine conversation and connection to learn what this girl is passionate about, what she’s interested in, and try to learn from her perspective. Maybe that’s part of my problem 😂 (Okay I wasn’t THAT rigid, we didn’t only talk about that, but you kinda get what I mean).
I stayed for maybe 2 hrs? Bought her some drinks, bought a couple more beers. There weren’t really any shows, just rotating dancers, with a couple more… exotic… acts thrown in there 😅 I finally left around 11:30pm.
Leveling Up My Social Skills
About a week ago I finally acknowledged and identified the constraint I feel with my social skills and where specifically I’m struggling – starting exchanges; a fear of rejection.
I wonder if the negative consequence of what I shared in the section above “Finding My Value” and video from November 2022 (that leaning towards external validation) means a fear of rejection also comes up. It’s almost like one creates the other.
I decided to finally start addressing it and intentionally improving it, starting with baby steps that I can work up from.
The past month reading Taoist Secrets of Love – Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia and actually doing the practices, it feels like I’ve fixed the problem that I was going after originally. I’m still working through some last details but I think I’ve finally learned how to divorce ejaculation from feeling horny/masturbation.
This is one of those things that my past self would’ve never believed was possible, ESPECIALLY after going out to a sex show or strip club, like come’on.
And so on the back of this, the gains I’ve made here have spilled over into literally all of the other aspects of my life, with increased confidence and social skills (more like reduced overthinking) being some of those things.
Sometimes (more recently) it just feels too easy to start exchange and I wonder how I ever struggled with this in the first place, but I’m definitely not fully there yet. That overthinking voice just keeps fading and fading away.
So based on the last month, I feel pretty confident in controlling my sexual energy… but I think there’s more to it.
I think it’s now about how to cultivate and move this energy around to other parts of my body and into other parts of my life.
I feel that I need to learn how to loosen up a bit, to cultivate and allow for that feminine flow of energy and presence inside of me, to not be scared of it. I’ve made a lot of progress, but I still feel too rigid in these situations (which maybe you can see from the above stories). So I think it’s now less about control (“restriction,” or “going to a cabin in the woods” type of vibe) and more about cultivation of the energy – turning it into creativity, into flow, into progress, into presence, into relationships and connections.
Writing about this reminds me of this idea about using the (physical) body to fix the mind (can’t remember the attribution, but I heard it most recently from Chris Williamson here: Piers Morgan vs Chris Williamson | “I’m An Army Of One” | Full interview). Sometimes we get to a point where we can’t use the mind to fix the mind anymore. Thinking more doesn’t actually help and instead we should use the body (deep breathing, meditation, exercise, etc.).
Anyways, fast forward to literally last night and this morning (Sunday), fresh off the noggin’:
Reflecting on the past 2 nights in conjunction with finally accepting that I would start addressing the social skills issues, it made me think about all of the growth, exposure, discomfort, and confidence gained in the past 2 nights.
I’m not gonna claim that going to strip clubs to level up your social skills is the best way, the only way, nor that I’m gonna be doing this every night or as my primary method for leveling up my social skills 😂 However, it’s an interesting idea… I feel like if I could comfortably start an exchange with an attractive women in lingerie/topless at a strip club, I could probably easily start a conversation with a fully clothed woman (or guy) sitting next to me at a coffee shop 😂
Maybe I’ve lost too much sleep and I’m out in the stratosphere here, or maybe I’ve found my next self improvement/social skills unlock 😂. Who knows… All this is just a peek into what’s been on my mind lately.
Speaking of sleep, I’m only gonna be able to handle a couple days of this before I actually go insane again. Wait until you see my recovery from this morning in next week’s post OOF 😅
As for the social skills progress so far… I think the heavy hitters has been a combination of semen retention and finally identifying the constraint, making the decision to address it, and getting that small little ball rolling. My goal is to just document and stack up as much evidence of those early wins as I can. I want the stack of evidence to be so unquestionable that it just becomes a part of me, regardless of SR or not.
Prove to yourself that you are the person you want to become. -Someone, idk
Here’s a better quote 😄
Interesting Content From The Week
Been spending more time reading WhatsApp group messages than watching videos. Pretty wild.
What’s Next?
I’m just on a 30 day visa exemption (i.e. just a stamp in the passport) for Thailand so I won’t be settling in too much.