Have you changed? Have you grown into a different person, changed your interests, created a new life?
For me, the answer is yes, and more specifically an “I’d hope so.” Personal growth is important to me.
What happens to your past self? What happens to the image that you created for all those people you met, the friends you made, the impressions you left. Here you are, a new person, but with hundreds of expectations and images stuck in the past.
For me right now, this feels like a weight I’m dragging along the ground, a ball and chain tied to my ankle. I’m afraid to share my “new” self, my true self, because of my past expectations. I don’t want to be stuck in the past. I’m not the person I used to be, but people probably still think I am.
This makes me want to reset all of the connections I made and just start over, to delete my social media accounts and start fresh. I feel oddly (or maybe not oddly) more comfortable sharing my true self to strangers, to the void of the internet, than I do to the people that follow me on social media – the friends and acquaintances I’ve made through the years. People that have never met me before don’t have a preconceived image of me. I’m working with a blank slate and that makes me feel better.
How do you deal with this? I’m sure the answer is “just don’t care about what other people think,” but that feels way easier said than done.
When I spend time with old friends, I find that I fall back into the past image of behavior that they expected of me and that was familiar to them. But the recognition is mutual, so we can rest in the comfort of knowing our past image, often laughing about it, while still focusing on the present.