This Week
- The reel that popped off to 19k views and why I felt exposed.
- Finally skiing again, how much snow we got this storm.
- Some thoughts on my growth edge right now.
January 2025
| Su | M | T | W | Th | F | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1/1 | 2 | 3 |
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |
| 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 |
Where In The World Was I?
- 🚐 Denver, Colorado
- ⛷️ Vail
- 🚐 Denver, Colorado
Metrics From The Week
Snaps From The Week
SuitSupply raincoat came in today. Expensive, oof… but it’s exactly what I was looking for. New shoes also came in, but they were just too big, so ended up returning them.
Business
More YouTube videos, reels, and coaching.
Exposed
A reel I clipped from my Why I couldn’t “think” my way out of my biggest problems in life video, which I also shared in my The Fear Compass for Navigating Life | Peter Meglis speech, was my “towel drop” story from Vietnam last year.
I shared the second half of this story (the coffee shop kid moment) in my Life Update that week, The Week Of Pickleball, Introspection, And The Nomad Party, (April 6th, 2025) under Thoughts From The Week.
Anyways, I’ve been clipping 10-15 reels per YouTube video lately, so like just another reel, I threw a text on screen and shipped it.
Then I started to notice the metrics…
The average watch time was 30-40 seconds… which is diabolical for reels, usually it’s like 4-8s is average for me, and “good” is 10-20s.
Then I just watched the views climb and climb, as the algorithm kept pushing it out.
Then the comments started coming in…
And some of them weren’t exactly nice, poking fun at me.
The reel got up to 19k views and a good handful of comments.
It felt very exposing… because in my full story, I use this moment as the learning transformation moment and then share how I’ve used this to overcome my fear.
But this real doesn’t have that part. It’s essentially JUST the “I f*cked up” moment. Which also makes it more exposing.
One morning I was reading the comments and seeing the reactions when it got to me. I kept thinking “the price of love is hate. the price of love is hate” and ended up talking it out on a video I recorded to myself.
I was explaining that it’s basically pure vulnerability and weakness, with no “strength” in how I’ve tied it all together. And that’s what makes it hard. Like standing on stage, naked, having tomatoes thrown at you… with no rebuttal.
But I couldn’t help thinking, as I was processing all this… and this is when the tears started flowing for me… that there’s someone out there watching this video, or my reels, thinking to himself, “fuck, man, this is me…“
And that guy needs me. He needs my video.
He needs me to show up, to lead, to be vulnerable, and show him that it’s okay.
That it’s okay to fuck up, to be imperfect, to struggle.
And man, that really hit me.
I’ve never really thought of myself as a leader of a movement or community, being the face of something, but I’m starting to see myself as the leader into each individual’s own deep understanding of themselves.
This content is not ready to be made public yet.
Pow Day
FINALLY a storm. 8″ at Vail. So I drove up to ski it.
Haven’t skied since early December, mostly because there haven’t been any good powder storms.
It was a lot of fun, great to be back on skis and in that state of flow.
I played in the trees a lot, looking for untouched stashes and ended up finding some good spots.
Thoughts From The Week
I had a couple journal and review sessions this week, using my Obsidian AI copilot plugin to feed in my notes and journal entries for feedback. I’ve been getting some incredibly useful and deeply personal insights on behaviors, goals, and identity change.
Crazy that I’ve been using Obsidian.md for 5 years now… 6,000 notes, and I’m now reaping the rewards of all that effort put in.
I won’t dump everything in here, but I’ll share a couple good insights.
Goals
Week after week, I’ve been tracking my scores for what I get done versus what I set out to do, and it’s been like 75%, 58%, 57%, 60%… and I started to look at this and feel a little demotivated.
Sure I’m trying to push and take actions that I need to take that are on my edge, but I’m getting into this state of not really doing what I say I’m gonna do. And so each weekly review basically highlights my lack. It’s never enough. I’m in the very literal sense… never doing enough.
Can’t remember which AI, but it picked up on this pattern and said:
“You are planning for the man you respect — not the man your nervous system currently trusts.” … “The brain updates identity from completed action loops, not intentions.”
I read that and went “ahhhhh yep, that’s a great callout.” The takeaways were: fewer promises, higher certainty, rebuilding self-trust as a physiological state. No longer planning for what I wish I could get done… but planning for what is realistic and on my actual edge… not the edge I think I have.
Meta Pattern
And another thing was this pattern of analysis and the desire for understanding before moving.
“Meta-Pattern: You are waiting for internal alignment before acting — but your system only aligns after action.”
This has been another one of my edges right now that I’m working through, and I think it’s just a common pattern for the analytical, thinker, perfectionist types… at least that’s what I tell myself lol.
It’s this desire to remove uncertainty. If I just AI chat a bit longer, if I just tweak this message a bit longer, I’ll get it to where it feels right, THEN I’ll make the video, send the message, make the invitation, etc.
But one of the new developments I’ve found is how I literally and physically generate energy and aliveness AFTER hitting record and starting to speak out my thoughts. And I’ve applied this to this idea that clarity and energy come AFTER action and movement, not before. “Do then understand, don’t understand then do.”
This related almost exactly to a big shift I heard from one of the other coaches at the Bali Intensive The Week Of The Bali Intensive Event (July 21st, 2025),
The biggest shift and journey: doing THEN understanding, lead with the body then mind instead of leading with the mind and trying to understand fully before doing (totally resonate with that)
So this is one of the things I’m working on accumulating more evidence for.
And to practice, after journaling and AI chatting, I outlined a YouTube video idea that I could more easily riff on, then drove to a park, ate lunch, and recorded it. If my schedule goes according to plan, I’ll release that one next week, Feb 4th.
It felt way better though energy-wise. And it was probably the quickest I went from idea to recording.
What’s Next?
✈️ 🧊