This Week
- Why an overnight stop in Vernal, Utah meant so much.
- Skiing the first powder in over a month at Park City.
- An honest look at the other side of living in a van.
February 2026
| Su | M | T | W | Th | F | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2/1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
Where In The World Was I?
- 🚐 Denver, Colorado
- 🚐 Vernal, Utah
- 🚐 Park City, Utah
- 🚐 Salt Lake City, Utah
Metrics From The Week
Heading West
Utah
Nostalgia
I stopped in Vernal Utah and suddenly was hit with a wave of nostalgia as I remembered the Anytime Fitness there, the Walmart… I was last there in February and April of 2023, three years ago!
February 2023 I was headed west in the van to ski in Utah and later drive out to California to ski.
- Van Life At -24ºF: Did My Pipes Make It?, February 5th, 2023
April 2023 I was done skiing that 2022/2023 season, and headed back to Denver to eventually sell my 4Runner, put all my apartment stuff from my storage unit into my van, and drive out east to drop the van and fly abroad to Europe for the first time.
- Making My First $1 Online, April 16th, 2023
Just thinking back to how much has changed, where I’ve been, and what I’ve done in those 3 years… To think, if I could tell that version of myself what would happen… It just warps my brain and fills it with this nostalgic gratitude feeling.
So many memories…
⛷️ Park City
Now for the real reason I drove west… Finally a storm came through and I noticed it was gonna hit Utah a lot harder than Colorado over the next 2 weeks.
I’ve been waiting for a good reason to drive out, so here it was.
Their first storm in over a month… They reported about 5-6″. It was pretty bare down by the base, but it was all snow up at the higher elevations.
Most of it was a bit of fluff, maybe 4-5″ depending on where, over some hard stuff.
So I went up to Jupiter and traversed to the west bowl and oh, my, god bro… I farmed that maybe 4-5 runs.
There were two particular runs where I had DEEP powder turns, it was incredible.
I immediately started giggling like a little kid. I love skiing. I do all of it for those moments.
Down To Salt Lake City
I’ve missed these mountain views… They honestly don’t even compare to Denver (maybe closer to a Boulder, CO view). It’s incredible here, so beautiful.
Went back to Sugar House Park, Liberty Park, Publik Coffee… Ahh the memories.
They got rid of the powder soap at Publik Coffee! Awww. Still great vibes though.
Also thanking my past self for documenting all the spots and options where I parked overnight… Using those now haha.
Socializing
Had multiple calls this week, feels much better than nothing which is what I’m normally used to…
This content is not ready to be made public yet.
Rubber Banding
I started to feel like my phone use was getting back to affecting me, to a level I didn’t want. There was one day in particular where I worked in the morning, recorded a video on deeper breathing, recovery, adding more silence and space into your day, then by the evening I was just exhausted, spent about 2 hours on my phone watching videos, scrolling.
I walked away from that feeling a little bit like an imposter, but also looked for the light in it, focusing on what I did get done and to set up the next day with good sleep.
I took to some journaling late in the week, and this came back up (journal entry is below).
My takeaway was to start valuing silence more in my day, and to prompt myself when I get into these moments, eating lunch, dinner, on my phone, and ask myself “what do I need to feel right now?”
I left feeling a lot more intentional, did a no-input lunch, just sitting there eating, present, and I just felt so much more refreshed after. I went for a walk after, and again just felt more refreshed and intentional. It was kind of wild, just accepting and leaning into what I need to feel, what I’m truly feeling at the moment, how much that actually unlocked.
Thoughts From The Week
202602101023 Morning journaling - Vernal Utah
#journal
February 10th 2026 | Vernal, Utah
Wassup, haven't journaled physically in a bit, thought I'd give it a go, give my brain some of that slower-paced thinking.
I'm back in Vernal. I've been here maybe twice before?
- Feb 1/2 2023 - winter van life, headed west to SLC then later to Tahoe
- Apr 13/14 2023 - done with skiing, back to Denver to sell the 4Runner, drive back to Acton to fly abroad for the first time
This time? Headed west to ski Park City, either stay there through April or back to Denver/Colorado mountains for skiing, then back to SLC mid-April.
Bro I'm looking at my Travel Journal map... Fuck, man. This is actually wild. Kind of overwhelming too, nostalgic. Each line literally holds a story, that's crazy.
What's alive in me? What am I feeling?
A bit of novelty, excitement, driving to Park City/SLC, gonna live there a bit. New places. Feeling valued, confident, abundant, reinforced. [...] This pull into purpose. This is the season bro, this is the chapter. All that self exploration, trying, failing, all of that was for this moment.
I was listening to Diary of a CEO / Huberman podcast, he recommended fear-setting for behavior change.
What are all the negative things that'd happen if I don't change?
- Tens, hundreds, thousands of people continue to struggle through the fog, bad habits, wasting their potential.
- More of that money tension and anxiety
- I look back and think "I could've tried harder."
- Either admitting to friends I'm not doing well, or hiding it, feeling that stomach tightening feeling.
- I have to get another software job, tail between my legs.
- No girlfriend, no wife, no kids, no family, empty life.
- Watching other people succeed, achieve the things I wanted to achieve.
Oof this is getting bad. Lock in bro.
202602130932 Brain dump - Publik Coffee
#journal
WE ARE SO BACK.
We're back in Salt Lake City. Got in yesterday afternoon after skiing Park City in the morning.
Which, speaking of, BRO, Jupiter was so good. I traversed over to west face, and dude I had two runs in particular, where I found heaps of fresh untracked snow, and dude the turns were legendary. Super soft, probably around 6", deep, powder. And my skis performed incredibly well. That's like literally what they're designed for... finally lol.
So anyways, I got a little leg day workout in this morning, then came to Publik Coffee. This is my quintessential "Salt Lake City" coffee shop. Feels good to be back.
What's on my mind?
- [...]
- It's a bit of a strange feeling being back in SLC, going to Sugar House Park last night. Last I was here was in Feb/March/Apr 2023 in the van and then March 2022 in my 4Runner. It's almost like those memories are just right there in my brain, as if life just continues where it left off 3 years ago... It's weird. I felt this when I landed back in Kuala Lumpur last year Feb 2025. It's like, the city/environment hasn't really changed. It's as if my brain forgets that 3 years has gone by. Such a niche human experience...
- Watched this Hamza video on my drive yesterday and thought it was interesting. He was talking about his dopamine detox and how he was unexpectedly feeling anxious during it. His realization was that this anxiety has always been there in the background and that he masked it with all the shitty addiction activities. But that you have to actually address it to fix it. He recommended doing a dopamine detox and seeing what feeling and emotion you need to feel.
- It was kind of interesting to hear him say this, as this feels like a very "Bali" and "new age" type of learning, not a "hustle" and "redpill" and "grindset" type of advice.
- But I also thought about my own life, [...]... and how much (or how little) silence I actually have in my days and life. He asked, if you did literally nothing, what would you feel? First thought that came up? Lonely.
- Loneliness - I miss Bali. I miss being around people, talking to people, meeting new people, chatting in the sauna. I miss the locals, saying "selamat pagi" to them in the morning, seeing the smiles on their faces. It's interesting to reflect, that I went back to Bali for the community and socialization, and I got it. I filled that cup of my life. Then I came back to U.S. van life, back to being alone, talking to nearly zero people (except some video calls with new friends). I look at this and think, yeah... it's amazing that I lived my life for so long without that socialization and connection. And now I question what I'm doing here without it. With this new hole in my life. It just kind of confirms my valuation and importance of socializing in my life. You need this.
- I've also been looking at my own scrolling, the "let me just lay down for a bit" habit, and starting to recognize that this environment isn't the best for supporting my growth right now. I need to be around more people. I'm not a lone wolf anymore. It's just not how I operate best. I need to be in conversations. I need to be exploring that social growth edge, starting conversations, going on dates with women. Part of my brain goes "yes but don't cope, don't lean on the external, use this to develop yourself" and the other part is like "bro go back to Bali."
What else?
- [...]
- Got a second YouTube video scheduled for tomorrow. Nice. Working to get on this 2 video per week schedule. Might even be able to swing 3 per week.
- The more time that goes on, the more I see how simple this business is... And the more I question why I made this so difficult, what I spent so much time on... I think part of the simplicity now is probably built _on_ the foundation of all that time I spent trying to experiment and understand all the different avenues and problems and offer and stuff. But I'm like... post reels, post YouTube videos, get into DM conversations with new followers, invite to 2hr DCEs, and coach clients. That's it. Content and coaching.
Other thoughts... (I've already done the AI Journal Prompts and I'm going through Obsidian notes for ideas...)
- [...]
- Bro so I just gave Gemini [...] to ask for books and skillsets to learn to actually help with unlocking this. Added a couple more books to my [[202209260904 📖 Book Board]] and I'm getting this sensation and feeling of excitement and inspiration, that there's so much to learn... Then I compare this felt sensation with when I actually get opportunities to read... on the treadmill, after dinner, and I see my _actions_ say I don't value reading. I'm getting this thought like what if I just read for like 3 hours per day. Think about the skillset I would develop, how I'd be able to help more people unlock real transformations like [...] here instead of using my current knowledge and "systems" approach.
- What needs to change inside me for this to occur? To stop reaching for my phone during meals, to not need so much stimulation. Similar to the AI Journaling, stop ignoring the true felt feelings, stop trying to mask things, looking for cheap dopamine.
- What would get me into inspiration and action? If I could _apply_ what I'm reading immediately and directly. I'm liking [[202601261216 Surrounded by Idiots by Thomas Erikson]] right now for that reason, though it's a long book which feels intimidating.
- I think I just need to slowwww my life down. Reading these books might be some of the highest ROI activities I could possibly do... It could lead to even _more_ fulfillment. Think about the feeling of dropping a question, having understood someone _else's_ deep pattern, and them going "fuck me you're right," leaving the call magnetic, compelled to share this with other people... Think about that pull into purpose... _Think about them crying in front of you, think about you guiding them through some of the most vulnerable aspects of their life, think about the difference you'd make in their life... How does that compare to this feeling of scrolling while eating my salad? or watching a youtube video while eating my chicken, rice, and broccoli bowl when I'm tired in the evenings._
- I'm feeling that inspiration and pull, that "they literally need me..." feeling. Might be worth adding this as a visualization, because it feels meaningful.
## AI Journal Prompts
1. When you strip away your phone, what feeling do you most not want to sit with right now—and what is that feeling actually trying to tell you about what you need next in this chapter (environment, people, work, rest)?
What feeling do I most not want to sit with right now?
- Lonely
- That I'm not doing enough, that I'm not working enough; That I'm not where I want to be right now, growth-wise - want to be able to be dating women, balancing that, feeling confident, abundant, coaching more people
- "Pressured"
- That I don't have as much discipline as I think I do, that I'm more dependent on my environment than I'd like to be
- "Vulnerable" or "Weak"
What are "Lonely, Pressured, Vulnerable" trying to tell me about what I actually need next in this chapter?
- Probably that I need to sit with and integrate these feelings, to lean into them instead of run from them or mask them.
Tweak: _“Lonely is asking for more humans in my week; pressured is asking for one clear, good-enough work block; vulnerable is asking me to admit how much environment actually matters and design with that instead of against it.”_
2. If you designed the next 4 weeks as a nervous-system-safe “Peter 2.0 experiment” where the only goal was to feel less lonely and more alive (not to “fix” yourself), what 2–3 tiny, concrete behaviors would you commit to—both for social connection and for your relationship with stimulation (YouTube, scrolling)? Be specific: where, when, and with whom.
- Add more silence to my daily life - meditation, walks, parts work, sit with these feelings, check in with how I'm truly feeling more often
- More chats and video calls with friends - [names]
I could commit to those. They feel doable.
- I'm kind of in this "don't even try" mindset right now in the U.S., just waiting to get back to Bali. This is also why I stopped trying to set up dates on Hinge, just isn't worth my time when I know it'll essentially be way easier when I'm in Bali to kickstart the socializing back up.
- So I say that to say, thinking about trying to start Hinge back up, join a run club, say hi to people in coffee shops and parks... just feels like too much friction to actually commit to.
Be specific:
- Spend one hour a day without stimulation - meditation, walks, parts work.
- Have at least one chat with someone every week - call/video chat with a friend, coaching call, etc.
Tweaks:
- _“Hour without stimulation = no phone, no laptop. It ‘counts’ if it’s: sitting with coffee, walking, or parts work. Earbuds only if it’s non‑stim music.”_
- _“Weekly chat = by Sunday night I’ve either had or scheduled a call with [names] / someone local.”_
3. Looking at the simplicity you’re seeing in your business (content → DMs → DCEs → coaching), what’s one way you can bring that same simplicity to how you relate to yourself tonight—especially around self-judgment, loneliness—so that you leave this page feeling like you’re on your own team, not under your own microscope?
- My first thought is to accept more balance in my life, to stop comparing myself to "zero"... "I should be scrolling zero per day,"... But I'm also not sure. I see the value in complete abstinence.
- Maybe just don't be so hard on myself. Accept that there's growth in the journey.
## Content Brainstorm
- [...]What’s Next?
⛷️ more snow!