This Week
- Hitting a new max heart rate during a sprint.
- How my reels have been performing lately.
- Sharing some actual raw/real socializing moments from this week.
May 2026
| Su | M | T | W | Th | F | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 5/1 | 2 |
| 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
| 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 |
| 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |
| 31 | 6/1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
Where In The World Was I?
- Bali, Indonesia
Metrics From The Week
Snaps From The Week
Runs
Been doing treadmill runs pretty much every workout, almost every day minus rest days and leg days. And finishing with some fast/sprints, up to 16kmph usually.
But this day I threw it on 18kmph at the end and watched my heart rate hit 196bpm at the peak. And I didn’t even really go into that run/sprint thinking, “let’s see how high I can get it”
196bpm! That’s crazy.
Sure, account for some inaccuracy with my Whoop, but still, wow. Max I got last year was 193bpm. And during my VO2 max test 2 years ago I think I hit 189 or something.
196bpm!
I’m still surprised at this.
Pedicure
BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME LET ME EXPLAIN MY CASE
My toes/nails are kinda meh… And now that I swapped my sandals for birkenstocks, I’m wearing them out a lot more, and not just for casual stuff, but actually wearing them with nicer clothes for nicer occasions.
So I was like it’s nasty if I’m all dressed up, wearing birkenstocks, and someone looks down and they see my nasty toes.
I figured let’s try a pedicure and see if they can clean them up a bit, just a whatever classic pedicure, no polish.
Frankly I’m not entirely sure what she did, something like scrub, soap+water, trimmed the cuticles, used this little grinder tool on the edges of the toenails, filed down any caluses.
It was aight. Didn’t make a huge difference but it’s better than nothing 😂
At least I can say I tried 😂
Coaching/Content
I’ve been finding this groove lately with talking head reels. I’ve been pulling hooks and interesting threads straight from calls I’ve had, then using AI to generate some hook ideas and expand on them, then I started using this teleprompter app to record and OH MY GOD I can’t believe I waited this long to use it.
I used to STRUGGLE with reels trying to get everything I wanted across, while making it sound natural and casual and not scripted, and trying to memorize everything.
Now I can basically one-take these videos. It’s so much easier. AND I’m finding I can make it sound natural.
And it’s showing up in the external metrics. Been resonating with a lot of people lately.
Also finally faced the resistance I was feeling around making YouTube videos. I had loosely decided that Reels > YouTube since that’s where I’m getting new followers, getting into DM conversations, etc.
But I realized that I don’t think anyone’s gonna go straight from seeing a Reel, following, to jumping on a call unless they’re super warm. So I’m missing the entire middle nurture part that people have said they’ve been resonating deeply with.
So I’m back to reprioritizing them.
And then had a couple late night calls this week. Finding it not ideal, 9pm, 9:30pm, 10pm… but I’m kind of in that “whatever” phase right now.
And got some good feedback with a new client I started working with a couple weeks ago. The last 2-3 weeks have kind of been more chaotic, heavy, complicated, lots of overthinking, but this week he said was the first call where things really started to click. That it took those two weeks to get to this point where he’s recognizing the pattern, understanding the awareness I’m talking about, understanding the role of the clear commitments at the end. Felt good.
Socializing
Back to Tribal Solutions!! I’m gonna start running them again next week. It reminded me of how valuable that space is, hearing real problems, complexities, pains, from people in those early stages, unsure, unclear, with an idea of what to do but overthinking it. I was like bro these people are my ICP lol
And got dinner, coffee, lunch with some friends.
And then had a meetup with some people from the online coaching community I joined last year. It was fun to see some faces from the intensive event last year out in east Bali.
Nirvana
Been absolutely grinding out meeting people lately. Hit 19 new names that I met this week. 19!
In my ENTIRE U.S. stint, 5.5 months, I met 15 people.
15!
I just met more people in one week than 5.5 months.
Crazy.
Feels good to be back 🙂
Nirvana Moments
At the sun beds, overheared this guy talk about downloading his own videos from Whop, thought about using that as an opportunity for an exchange. But then just started overthinking it so much, and lost the opportunity. I was like is it weird now if I just jump in? But eventually just did it, turned my brain off and spoke up. Ended up chatting with him and this other girl from Brazil and getting both of their names! Proud of myself.
In the Nirvana sauna, overhearing this girl talk about doing nervous system work with executives. Started a convo, went out to the hot tub after and chatted with her, heard her story, she asked about mine. It was really cool to hear from someone whose story I relate to and doing something similar.
At Nirvana, super attractive glasses girl, walked by and mouthed “I like your glasses” and she went from like full on resting bitch face to huge smile, bubbly laugh hahaha
Nirvana sauna, packed, 10 people, COMPLETELY silent, I sat there for like 5 minutes thinking about saying something… then finally went… “it’s a talkative sauna today huh?”… and got a chuckle, started a convo with this guy from Poland. IM THAT GUY HAHAHAHAHA 😂
After sauna, sitting on the sun beds, this girl walks by and from afar goes “heyyyy Peter” like kind of loudly as she’s walking by 😂 and I’m like “wait come back” and she comes over and first thing she says is “you don’t remember my name do you?” … Quick flashback context: I met this girl sometime last week, since then I’ve met like I dunno, 20 other people, and haven’t seen her since. When I see people I’ve met I try to recall their names in my head. Anyways, I see her yesterday I think? made eye contact, smiled, but it had been like a week, so I saw her and was thinking… why do I recognize your face, where do I know you from gahhhh. Missed an opportunity to go over and say hi because I was like FUCKKK I forget her name… After I left I went back to my “people I meet” note and found it and was like ahhhhhhh right now I remember, but totally fumbled that. So anyways fast forward back to the present, it’s the same girl. She goes “you don’t remember my name do you?” and I immediately say her name and she’s like “whatttttttt you remember!?” and I’m like “of coooourse I remember 😉” BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This content is not ready to be made public yet.
Wind Down
I’ve been doing these “wind down” chats lately and really enjoying them. Post shower, pre-bed, just recording a video to myself chatting through my day, what happened, etc.
Thoughts From The Week
202605170815 Morning journaling - Rise and Shine
#journal
May 17th, 2026 | Rise and Shine
Morning. Just walking here this morning, walked by a trash truck, this young guy outside, made eye contact, smiled and said "pagi" he smiled back. Walked behind them a couple minutes and just couldn't help imagining what his life is like... must be so tough and yet he can put on a genuine smile to see someone. It's just so fascinating. This would almost never happen in the U.S.
What's on the mind right now? Sunset with [name] tonight. Moved guesthouses, liking this one better. Feeling more locked in, got the origin story posted. That felt good to complete. Just feeling my mindset is better around discomfort, I'm like okay what's the hard + uncomfortable thing I need to do. Then I'm doing it.
Ah! Had an awesome chat with [name] yesterday. Thought it might just be casual and so just explored with him. Had a couple questions prepped but no structure. And ended up going well. I was just reflecting after how much more "clean" it felt from my end, not as much pressure to perform or deliver. AND THEN he offered to pay me for my time, AND DID IT. He asked how much I charge, told him [price] for 90-120 min call. He sent me [price] after the call. Man, I walked away with my brain changed, like what just happened? Wait, that's possible? There are people out there that just voluntarily send money? I don't have to handle all these "I'm broke" objections? We're following up in 2 weeks. He said he might just hire me for help. Man such an ideal call and experience. I need to find more guys like this.
## Mining More
1. **That word "clean" — stay with it.** What did the [name] call feel like in your body compared to calls that don't feel clean? Don't explain why it was different yet. Just describe what was present and what was absent.
Relaxed. Chill.
What was absent? All that brain firing, thinking "what's the next question, what should I ask next, what info do i need here, whats the pattern to name, am I still on track with time." There's this hint of pressure on some of my DCE calls to like check all my boxes, did we get the root pattern, childhood, should I do focusing, should I propose here, etc. It's this push, pressure, idk how else to describe it.
The call with [name] had no expectation going in. My framing was, okay there might be a pattern here, I explicitly told him I don't offer this, so let's just explore, see what comes up, maybe if he matches my icp pattern we move into that, but we can also just keep it casual and just share value.
I think I just explained why it was different lol.
In the body, it felt relaxed, like there was no pressure, no need to close or sell, just could share from a place of abundance and not need.
What was absent was that feeling of "needing to do something"
[...]
3. **"Wait, that's possible?"** — That sentence has real charge. What exactly was the belief that broke in that moment? Write it out as the old sentence and the new one, even if the new one still feels fragile.
Old sentence: I have to convince people of the value of my coaching, I need to show up and prove myself, and then even after the fact objection handle my way towards them actually paying me.
New sentence: I can just be myself, relaxed, serve from a place of love, and the right people will feel the value and feel compelled to send me money and desire working with me.
202605190813 Morning journaling - Jelajah Coffee
#journal
May 19th 2026 | Jelajah
Pagi. A bit tired today. Really pushed the workout yesterday. Still can't believe I cracked 196bpm for a second there during my sprint. Crazy.
But the main event ended up being this exchange on the sun lounges. Kinda still don't believe it happened because I over-thought it for SO LONG. But man I'm proud I did it. And it was so interesting because I thought I was gonna be helpful for the guy, but when I finally asked he's like "nah I figured it out," and so I felt this almost emptiness of like "uhh I waited too long, oh no..." but then, I didn't die... and it turned out well. See, nervous system? It's okay bro.
Anything else? Been thinking about [name]
Also, after meeting [name] and [name] last night and my third? time introducing what I do and feeling kinda scattered, I want to tighten this up.
_I help high-performers figure out why they're stuck when they already know what to do._
Bro I just want to like practice saying this out loud 50 times.
Looking back at my notes...
- bleeding throat is wasting potential behind distraction and indecision, self-betrayal
- "I help people stop procrastinating." I like that too.
- ... why they're stuck _and procrastinating_ when...
- deep desire - self-trust, pride in themselves
Feels a bit more focused, but would love to go back through this again, [[202510191816 Book Yourself Solid by Michael Port]]
202605210801 Morning journaling - Rise and Shine
#journal
May 21st 2026 | Rise and Shine
Pagi. Got the full morning free until lunch with [name] to lock in. Got a call with [name] tonight. [...]
I had SUCH a good social rep yesterday in the sauna. 10 people, completely silent. I finally went "talkative sauna today huh?" And got into a convo with one guy. Also had a higher friction rep. This very attractive and cute girl. I've seen her last year too, walked by and said "I like your glasses" and it was super interesting to see her go from locked in bitch face to big smile bubbly energy chuckle. I like that. I like her. Gonna follow up now that I've opened the door.
What else? Got a DCE with [name] on Friday so that's good. [...]
In what other ways could I soften my grip to _receive_ more? What [name] was talking about. When I think of this I think of more _showing_ me and myself, not _trying_, not _convincing_.
[...]
## Mining More
**1. On the sauna moment and the girl with the glasses:**
*What was happening in your body in the half-second before you said "I like your glasses"? And what did it feel like to watch her face change — not what you thought about it, but what moved in you?*
In the half-second before: Okay well starting from the _idea_ which happened much further back.
Sauna: Walked in, completely silent, I like to talk and meet people in the sauna now, so I'm sitting there thinking well this sucks... Then get this idea to make the joke, which I _have_ done in the past... "man, talkative sauna today huh, don't all jump in at once" that kind of energy. I get this idea, then it's like my brain starts firing... what if everyone _wants_ to be silent, so then I start looking around at peoples' faces, are they moving and fidgeting? are they zen, closed eyes? I see that pretty much everyone is just kind of staring outside. Then I'm like okay well if I do this then what do I follow up with? what do I say after? Do I try to get everyone into a conversation? Do I ask everyone where they're from? Do I just start a convo with one person? Will anyone even react.... and so on...
Then, and this seems to happen every time there's this friction... there's this like 3 seconds where my brain quiets, shuts off, all the thoughts stop, and then I say it. It's like I black out and go into flow, but I kind of only recognize this in retrospect.
For the girl: I've seen her before, having that desire to talk to her, seeing if we make eye contact. I saw her see me some day last week, I was chatting with someone, I forget. Then today she's alone doing a workout along the mirrors. I walk by to go to the bathroom, catch a quick eye contact, but very quick. But I'm post-workout, pre-run, feeling tired, sweaty, pumped, feeling and looking good.
So I finish, washing my hands, thinking about this girl, then the idea hits my brain, "tell her you like her glasses... genuine, real, authentic, compliment, opens the door..." so I'm walking back up and start visualizing this idea, how it's gonna play out, making the eye contact, mouthing the words, imagining her reaction, maybe a light smile and thank you, smiling and walking away. Then I go back to considering back and forth, then I get that feeling, bro you're a G c'mon you look insane right now, feeling confident, so I'm like okay I'll do it.
I walk by her, behind, she does like a quick glance then looks down. I'm at this point behind her and she's not looking, I get this hyper quick and subtle panic, like uhhh she's not looking now what. So I stop behind her and look, and 1/2 second later she looks, and I go for it "I like your glasses" and put my fingers around my eyes, and she smiles and kind of moves her body, I don't know how to explain, like this positive energetic reaction, and gets this big smile, and goes "oh! thank you! hehe" and I smile back at her and walk away.
Then turn my hat backwards, get on the treadmill and do my run, heart pounding haha :)
So now back to the question... That half-second, the brain goes quiet. It's kind of interesting. It's like, idea happens, overthinking overthinking overthinking, brain quiets for 1-2 seconds, then I say the thing.
And what did it _feel_ like to watch her face change?
I thought she'd give just a neutral or kind of cold reaction, I actually didn't visualize how she'd react, so I guess I wasn't sure. But judging based on our interactions, quick eye contacts, nothing held, I thought it'd be neutral. It was more about me showing up through the friction and doing the rep.
So when I saw her smile and chuckle and say thank you, for what I felt like was such a simple comment and compliment, it felt unexpected in the best way. And I know I'm in description right now, but I want to add the context that I've heard that the really attractive and feminine girls, you actually want the ones with the like resting bitch face, because no one wants to approach them, but if you approach and do it right, they'll immediately soften and smile and drop into their feminine energy. And I immediately connected it back to that. Almost bar for bar what happened.
In my body, it was adrenaline, nervousness, heart racing after, but a connection moment, a softening, like oh, she received this more than just a side comment. She's open. She's receptive. I feel this warmth. I feel a little connection. An open loop to approach her again.
[...]
202605220806 Morning journaling - Barboa
#journal
May 22nd 2026 | Barboa
Wassup. Main thing today was just how unexpectedly good my call with [name] went last night. Wasn't too sure what to expect but been feeling the weight of his overthinking and spiraling and just haven't really felt like I've had a clear solution for him. Got some help from AI on what to pull but honestly it just ended up coming back to what I knew. AND THEN he said this was the first call where he felt like things started to make sense, the awareness stuff, the cycle he gets in. Man, that just felt good. I walked in bracing for, "can I really do this?" and walked away feeling "yeah this is what I like about coaching" and it reminded me of tutoring computer science and those lightbulb moments you see in them.
What else? Chat/Lunch with [name] was so great. Ah, and did some AI chatting on how to tweak my messaging. Circled a bit, kinda came back to the same place after playing with the idea of pivoting. Then I don't know for some reason I just felt kinda drained, shit energy the second half of the day. Noticed it checking in to Nirvana and right after, and in the sauna. My only explanation thought is: tired, not enough sleep, low recovery, socially drained from lunch with [name], chat with [name] at Tribal. And maybe that's enough to do it...
Here's a question to ponder on... I've said I'm avoiding a YouTube video for like 3 days in a row and haven't tackled it. Why? I feel like reels are higher priority, feels a bit like a treadmill trying to get from x2 a day to 3, 4, 5. I've gotten more feedback from Reels than YT. But last night I thought, wait, that's probably what [name] meant behind why he came back. It probably wasn't my reels but my YT videos. So they're actually nurturing properly. I'm deprioritizing them but I actually shouldn't be. What else? Feels like I don't have a YT video idea good enough, but I also haven't actually put thought towards it. What else? More mental energy to record a YT video over Reels.
So, it's just harder and is a higher priority/ROI than I think, and just haven't even spent 15 min ideating. Okay this feels obvious... Gonna ideate today. I've got SO MUCH raw material from all these call transcripts it's SO GOOD.
202605230820 Morning journaling - Blacklist
#journal
May 23rd 2026 | Blacklist Coffee
Came down the street to switch it up today. Not going to Bali Brotherhood. I dunno man it just doesn't feel exciting. I don't feel the pull. It honestly feels a bit more heavy than light, takes a lot of presence and energy from me. But at the same time I like the idea of the community and connection.
So instead I wanted to do some journaling, less about micro what's on my mind but more macro like I shared last night. If I'm to build this coaching business into a sustainable $15k/mo business, if I'm to get to Tony Robbins level of impact, if I'm to get to a place where I'm being invited to speak on stages of 3,000 people, deeply impacting the lives of other people... What needs to change about my current approach, current lifestyle, what beliefs need to change, what do I need to sacrifice, like how do I envision actually getting there? and what _shouldn't_ change?
Let's dive in...
What shouldn't change is my authenticity, vulnerability, sharing struggles, human experience. Getting to 15k/mo I think I've got a more well-defined system, funnel, people can work with me at different stages, info products, group, 1-1. Getting there I need to be pumping content, like x5 a day, mix of talking head and other stuff, x2 YT a week I'd say, and YT are clean, super valuable -> I think this is the biggest shift. Still Dan Bolton style but the content just resonates super hard, every video. I'm articulate, speak well, communicate fluidly. Getting there I'm also in the spotlight a lot more, speeches, workshops, talks. And that's reflected in my content. Getting to 15k/mo my offer + pain is also a lot more specific, validated, my ICP is more focused on successful 9-5 or founders, I'm also just experimenting with a lot of shit, new offers, products, messaging, emails, etc. My current lifestyle needs to shift a bit. The feeling is that I need to be more focused, less 2hr tangents with AI. I'm reading and learning intentionally every day for like an hour. I've got my own coach, I'm developing skills alongside getting 4 hours of SOLID work done, deep work, per day. I think my day is setup a tiny bit different, more laser focused deep work in the morning, admin afternoon, I'm more aware of the high ROI stuff. Gym and sauna and Nirvana stays the same tbh. Evenings are tweaked, learning more. Beliefs that change: start putting my future self, family, people, service over my present comfort. Delayed gratification. The belief that focusing during this chapter will build an even better life in the future. Connecting to purpose, service, God, universe more. Meditation + breath work daily. Sacrifice: momentary comfort.
I recognize this is a lot, creates a big gap between where I am and my ideal. But we can start with small steps.
What's this challenge stir up inside me? I feel like I'm not living up to my potential. I feel like I'm not doing justice to this opportunity.
What's this reveal about me? I think I've found another micro comfort plateau I've got to get over.
What's the switch inside of me that needs to flip? Someone out there needs me. To stop thinking about myself so much and start thinking about others.
How's this change the story you're living? From "I've made it, this is the life I dreamed of," To "boy you're just getting started" and seeing the next mountain to climb.
And if nothing changes? I let down all those people in the crowd looking up to me. I let down myself.
## Mining More
**1. "You said Bali Brotherhood feels heavy, not light. But you also said you like the idea of community and connection. Write about a time recently where connection actually felt light — no effort, no presence-drain. What was different about that one?"** This is the most honest, unguarded line in the whole entry. Everything after it shifts into strategy mode. There's something in that heaviness worth staying with before you move past it.
Tribal, Nirvana Sauna, Give It All events.
What I'm understanding feels heavy is during the shares, some of them are really quite emotionally heavy, and being fully present there, with them, as they're sharing, pulls me into it. I think back to the more than one time that I cried after Bali Brotherhood not for my own share but to release the emotions for how deeply I felt someone _else's_ share. And that just feels like it requires a level of energy and understanding going into it. It's not a "just show up and chat with the guys"
The other thing that comes to mind is feeling a little bit of that "not good enough" story or pressure. It's just another space where I know I'll be asked (in good spirit, mind you) about what I'm up to, business, and just feeling that subtle need to wrap my uncertainty with a bow.
So to answer the question, the environments where connection is casual and light feel better.
**2. "You wrote 'stop thinking about myself so much and start thinking about others.' When you imagine the version of you on that stage in front of 3,000 people — who are you in that moment? What are you feeling? Be honest about what you actually want from that image."** The service frame showed up fast. It might be real. But it also might be doing the thing you do — repackaging a personal desire as a selfless one so it feels safer to want it. Stay with the wanting before you justify it.
The first thing that comes to mind is this feeling of, "it's not me." This is my real first vision, I see myself as a vessel, a container, completely present, in flow, channeling something, some message, some passion, to the audience. I'm not up there thinking about anything. I'm just... there, fully.
What do I actually _want_ from that image? The feeling of impact, purpose, fulfillment. I want to help people who feel stuck. I want that lightbulb moment from tutoring computer science, where you say something, ask something, and you see their eyes widen with realization. I want that feeling of passion I felt on the Give It All stages. That feeling of positive pressure, responsibility.
**3. "You said 'I feel like I'm not living up to my potential.' Forget the plan for a second. What does that sentence actually feel like in your body when you say it out loud? And whose voice is it in?"** This is the emotional center of the entry but it got one line before you moved into solutions. The whole journal pivots on this feeling — but you treated it like a problem to fix rather than something to listen to.
I feel like I'm coasting. I feel like the things and times in my day where I get to something hard, discomfort, uncertainty, these situations where I could be focused and pump out more reels, where I could be reaching out to people, in DMs, and then I end up in these 2 hour tangents with AI creating a little micro system, prompts like yesterday for generating YouTube videos. I KNOW this, this avoidance pattern, systematizing something instead of just going. Which is why I was really intentional about _actually_ closing the loop yesterday and _actually_ taking one of the video ideas, _actually_ outlining it, and _actually_ recording it even if it felt like it wasn't my best or I could've done better.
I think another part of it is the gap between my view of myself and the work that I'm putting in and this "ideal" that I see, the "what you 'should' be doing to grow your coaching business on Instagram" and it comes back down to [name] and [name]. And just now thinking about this, I'm now remembering the times where they've come up again and how I fall into this comparison trap with them.
[...]
## Mining Even More
**1. "You cried after someone else's share at Brotherhood — not your own. And then your dream stage image is you as a vessel, channeling something, where 'it's not me.' Both of those are moments where Peter disappears. Write about what it feels like to be that porous — to feel someone else's pain that deeply. And whether that's something you want to protect or something you want to use."** You named both of these like they're separate things. They might be the same thing.
It's one of the biggest things I've realized about myself over the last couple years, and one of the strongest threads I have going back to like VERY early childhood. [...]
I've already explored this very deeply haha.
I definitely want to use it. And I definitely do use it. It's why I enjoy coaching, it's my belief why people say I ask good questions, why we drop into deep conversations. I'm building on this. But I also realize that with this unique skill and advantage, I need to protect it, because I can be drained easily. And this is one of the reasons why I _hesitate_ to go to brotherhood. I didn't write it but it was one of my thoughts why journaling here, to protect that energy.
As for the connection to being on stage... I'm not sure actually. I envision it feeling different from the feeling of 1-1 with someone, feeling someone's emotions in that moment. But maybe at that point, speaking on stage, I'm able to channel the emotions of someone or something _through_ myself into my speaking and energy on stage. So maybe that's the connection there.
**2. "You mentioned the tutoring lightbulb moment — watching someone's eyes widen with realization. Go back to one specific time that happened. Who was it, what did you say, what did their face do, what did your body feel like in that moment?"** That memory showed up unprompted alongside the 3,000-person stage. It might be more foundational than the stage itself. Stay in the scene before you leave it.
I shared this frequently as part of "my story." Holding office hours in the IST building, or recitations in that building I forget the name. Walking around, some kid raises his hand and asks about a question, and in that moment, so much happens... I'm listening to his question, trying to figure out the problem, seeing where he's stuck, and thinking about what question, at what level, he needs in that moment to unlock that stuckness. Not to give him the answer, but to guide him towards it. I look back and always loved that feeling. And it's the feeling I missed when I started working as a software engineer, detached from the impact I'm actually having on someone else.
What’s Next?
More more more (life)