The Week When It Started Catching Up To Me

This Week

• The progress and signs I’ve been getting around this new coaching path.
• The good and the meh around late nights this week.
• The sleep struggle finally catching up to me.

August 2025

Su	M	T	W	Th	F	S
27	28	29	30	31	8/1	2
3	4	5	6	7	8	9
10	11	12	13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20	21	22	23
24	25	26	27	28	29	30
31	9/1	2	3	4	5	6

Where In The World Was I?

• 🇮🇩 Canggu (Bali, Indonesia)

Metrics From The Week

Snaps From The Week

Back To Tribal

I moved back to Tribal. I missed those little in-between social moments.

Universe Alignment

First CTA

Things have been changing and progressing VERY quickly over here. It feels like those early startup/product days where each day brings something new and different. I love it.

I officially posted my first CTA for coaching sessions, which is an indication that I have now fully decided to be on this new path.

It was also interesting to note that the day before and the morning of posting this, I felt some hesitation and fear around this.

202508170800 Brain dump this morning - Blacklist Coffee

...

How am I feeling business wise?

Starting to get back into content, dabbling, sharing more ideas on my Instagram stories. I've liked that. I'm getting some replies from people, some feedback.

I'm feeling some hesitation to offering my first sessions. I wanted to do it yesterday, the day after posting all my testimonials, but I 1. didn't get time behind my laptop and 2. didn't feel right after posting that "Be the example of your work." story, which I think may have been received as a negative thing from other people because I said "this hit me hard today."

I'm also feeling some of this classic "I'd rather live in the maybe than get the no." What if I post it and nothing happens? Then what? And so I feel like I'm waiting for the stars align, for that perfect moment to post and maximize the opportunity.

What are all the fronts I'm moving towards?
- Traffic - Content (Instagram, stories, YouTube)
- Sales process - doesn't exist right now, don't need one yet
- Conversion - this is the message to [name] group chat [[202508081127 Offering my first one on one sessions]], and the Instagram story I'm waiting to post
- Value - just gonna co-create and jam with people for now, don't have a formal offer

What would Coach Peter say is most important right now?
- What if you were unattached to the outcome? What if instead of putting together the CTA because you wanted to do your first coaching session, what if instead, you put it out for the sake of putting it out? What if it was for the purpose of putting yourself out there?
	- This _does_ relieve some of the pressure. It's like, this isn't going to be the last and final CTA you make.

I sat in that feeling and felt it, and I started to feel more confident and unattached to the outcome. Anything could happen and I’d be happy because I’m just moving in congruence with myself and the direction I’m headed, rather than trying to get my first client.

And sure enough? Got lots of messages, likes, responses, but no one reached out to take me up on this.

And how did I feel about the result? Fine. Because I had already felt what that felt like.

The Uncertainty

What I’ve been struggling with the most, as I started to share in the “what’s your offer” story from last week, is figuring out what language to use to describe what I do to other people. It’s come out as uncertainty, as I haven’t been able to dial in who exactly I want to help and with what problem.

This is what I’ve been focusing on right now. Not to box myself in, but to be able to both add clarity to my life and give other people an idea of what this all looks like.

Beautiful Signs

In the meantime, I’ve had some beautiful conversations and met some people that have absolutely been “signs from the universe.”

I met another coach who’s been giving me tips and advice on getting started, what to focus on versus not worry about.

I met a guy in the sauna who in 5 minutes of chatting gave me new ideas for where to focus.

It’s just been quite interesting to see how the quality of people in my life has dramatically increased in just the last 2 weeks.

I met someone in the parking lot of Nirvana one afternoon and we ended up chatting for like 30 minutes. One of these nudges she gave was encouragement to start posting my face on my Instagram stories. It was one of those things I knew I’d get to “eventually” but had no good reason why I couldn’t start right now besides fear.

The next morning I worked through this fear and posted my first video of myself.

It was a 3.5 minute video. I talked about perfectionism, the fear of making mistakes, not having a perfect video, etc.

I uploaded it, checked that the full length was right, then hit publish and went to the gym.

About like 4 hours later a friend texts me and tells me my video got cut off.

Sure enough I look back and only the first 60 seconds got posted. So of course I now panic because whatever 50 people have already watched it. It was hilarious to look back and see that the exact thing I was describing in the video, that exact fear, ended up happening… 😂

But I went back, cut up the rest of the video into clips, then posted them.

202508210759 Brain dump - 7am Bakers
..
.

First Instagram Story Video
I posted my first Instagram story with my face speaking to the camera yesterday!

And BRO HAHAHAHAH so I make this 3 minute video and I finish and I'm like I don't even know how long story videos can be. I upload it and in the little Instagram editor is shows the full video, so I'm like great and hit publish, and go to the gym.

I finish my workout, I'm sitting on the daybeds, I see like 8 likes already from people on that story.

Then I get a message from [name] that the video got cut off. I'm like huh?

So I check and sure enough it's only the first 60 seconds.

I get that "oh shit" sinking feeling, fuuuuuck I messed up and so many people have already seen it.

AND LITERALLY IN MY VIDEO I'm talking about "this video won't be perfect" and that feeling of making mistakes and having this perfect image, and literally that video I fuck it up ahahaha.
- [[202508200913 The fears holding me back from making videos]]

I went back in, cut the video up, and reposted the other parts.

It's just like, could it not have been more obvious?? 😂

Good Nights and Meh Nights

Went out a handful of times this week. Some nights were good, some nights were meh.

One of the good nights was going out to Mesa for this afro beats music night.

This story probably needs a bit more context, but I’ll share it anyway. I walked up to the rooftop to meet up with the rest of the friend group and I see two friends sitting with two girls. I go up and say (to my friend) “wait… Do I know you? From… Mrs. Reed’s math class?” And he picks it up (with the same sense of humor) goes “oh my god, in the back corner?”

And all I’m gonna say is over the next maybe 15 minutes we just kept this up, creating this elaborate backstory of how we knew each other. I don’t even remember what we said.

It was something like:

My name was John, I had moved schools at some point away from my friend, got into the druggy friend group, went to jail for 3 weeks for this one night where we had this drunk naked bonfire behind this girl’s house, and punched a guy, but actually it was out of self defense, and it was the girl’s mom who had called the police, but I was in a poor family and couldn’t afford a lawyer and actually the guy I punched was from a rich family who could afford a good lawyer and won the case, and then at some point I moved to San Francisco and worked at the central train station 7-11 convenience store there for 4 years… and the stories continued 😂

Every second sentence I had to cover my mouth because I couldn’t hold a straight face.

And all this time the girl sitting next to him is like “noooooooo really???!!”

Then he goes “wait I think you forgot one part of the story… the fact that all of this is made up” 😂😂 And the girl is like “wait… what?” 😂

F*cking hilarious. Such a highlight.

One of the meh ones was going to La Favela. I don’t even know how to describe it, it’s not really a club, multiple floors, massive place. The aesthetic was soooo cool, but the music was just not good, not stuff that I could dance to. It was just like “2000s white people pop music.” 😂 I stood there starting to really question if I should be there… sacrificing my health and sleep for this moment…

The Sleep Struggle

On a similar note, I’ve been starting to feel the effects of the late nights and lack of sleep catch up with me.

I’ve been thinking about what I really need at this point in my life+business and I’m starting to hit diminishing returns from going out. If every night could be great, then it’s worth it, but the poor nights make me question everything because the ROI is not there. The sacrifice doesn’t return something better.

So I’ve started leaning back into myself, prioritizing my sleep, my time alone, recentering, refocusing.

I don’t think zero nights out is the right answer, but whatever I’m doing this week and now is pushing me over the boundary of what I can take.

I’ve found the line, now I can come back to center.

Saturday night I slept for 11 hours 😂 and I definitely needed that.

Thoughts From The Week

Good energy

202508200902 Giving off the good energy impression at Nirvana

#energy 

So I'm at Nirvana like 3 days ago? I go to the pool area to say hi to [name] before staring my workout.

[...]

This guy stops me, sticks out his hand and goes "hey!" we shake hands, exchange names, ask where he's from.

He goes something like, "I always see you in the sauna, you've got this great energy, I'm glad I got to see you outside of the sauna"


And it was sort of one of these reframes [[202507271036 Being labeled as something you never used to be for your identity]] where I was like huh, oh, I didn't expect that.

I walked away from that smiling.


The reason I document this is because I craft and create this fuckboy closed off don't talk to me impression and energy when I'm working out. I'm locked in, usually don't like talking to people, just listening to music.

And I started to wonder if this is closing me off to new social opportunities.

But I'm a lot more open and social in the sauna.


Bro I don't even remember ever seeing this guy and I gave off this impression.


So anyways, keep it up whatever I'm doing is working :)

Fears of posting

202508200913 The fears holding me back from making videos

#journal #fear 

The next step for me is to post talking videos to my Instagram stories and make YouTube videos again.

But there's a friction, an internal tension around this.

What is that?

Perfectionism

I don't want to mess up

I don't want to make a video and waste people's time

I feel the need to make a perfect video, to have a clear message, no dead space, no mistakes

Feeling embarrassed about showing myself to the people following me. I'd rather hide behind my photos and text.

Because what if they see me for who I really am?

What if they see me make mistakes, what if they lose respect for me, what if they lose approval for me, what if I disappoint people.

I just want to be loved and accepted by others.

And making mistakes, sharing vulnerability, opening up, feels like taking a risk, there's a downside, what if people don't like it? What if people don't like me? And this they won't love and accept me.


Great, we've identified a feeling. Now let's sit with that feeling of not being accepted.

...

Things that came up:
- feeling a confidence from feeling this disapproval. Remembering the stomach tension feeling from [...]. Really very physically that little bit of tension in the stomach area
- feeling this weird adrenaline like energy flow, eyes kind of rolling back, envisioning feeling this flow of energy into my body, transporting to watching myself in the third person, and with this, feeling this confidence and abundance of energy
- envisioning making an Instagram story on my way back to Tribal from 7am bakers talking about perfectionism
- living the duality of being valuable but also feeling broken, still struggling, always evolving, still having problems

Uniqueness

202508202144 The thing that makes me unique

#personal #emotions 

Feeling the emotions of other people, not like "I conceptually understand," but literally in my body.

[name] was like "wait say more, I've never heard anyone say this." I thought that was interesting.

It's also something I've realized makes me unique because I don't see many other guys like this, tearing up when others tear up.


Examples:
- [...]
- [...]

Tradeoffs

202508231104 Brain dump - Motion Cafe

#journal 

Morning.

[...]

What's the actual problem?

I'm no longer in the partying phase. I'll go out and can have fun, but I feel like I waste my time when the music isn't good, like La Favela.

And going out or late dinners means I'm intentionally sacrificing my sleep, which I really value, for socializing.

And maybe the reason this is coming is because I'm no longer getting value from these social experiences.

[...]

La Favela wasn't worth it.

I'm starting to feel it.

It's affecting me.

And so maybe now this IS the boundary.

I'm not in a good headspace right now.

I'm no longer fully present at dinner and nights out.

Man I'm just not in a good headspace. And that's a bigger problem.

[...]

What came up at the end of [...], the intention, was to provide for myself before others. I'm reaching that point of too much.

It's okay, but this IS the indicator. Use it.

I'm gonna start saying no a lot more. Maybe not fully, but it's gotta be worth it. And right now it's no longer worth the late nights.


But this balance is hard because I value both things, health and sleep, and socializing and experiences.

But what if we could have both, not one or the other??

What if putting yourself first, so that you can actually show up for other people, is not restriction but actually love? That's a thought to ponder...

What’s Next?

Who knows 😂

---

Location