The Week Of The New Identity

This Week

• Why I started training Muay Thai.
• The top takeaways I’m integrating from last week’s Bali Intensive mastermind.
• Some of the most meaningful feedback I’ve ever received.

July 2025

Su	M	T	W	Th	F	S
29	30	7/1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31	8/1	2

Where In The World Was I?

• 🇮🇩 Canggu (Bali, Indonesia)

Metrics From The Week

Snaps From The Week

Back At It

It felt so good to be back working out.

I’ve also been doing these classes lately – shoulder/elbow/wrist mobility; hip/knee/ankle mobility; front splits. Feeling like I need to balance out the strength training with flexibility.

And did a leg day with some friends at this other gym (which also had a posing room; my fitness coach friend was showing me how to pose)

Muay Thai Private Coach

I’ve been feeling this greater and greater pull towards training Muay Thai in the last month or two.

For context, I’ve had nearly zero exposure to fighting and MMA. I did karate when I was a kid for I dunno maybe a year or two? But other than that, never did anything. I didn’t even watch MMA or any kind of fighting sports on TV. I thought it was too hard to watch people beat each other up.

I’ve done a couple group classes and pretty much every class I explain that I’m a complete newbie and the pad trainer is like “yeah you should probably do a private session” 😂

So here we are.

Yep all that sweat was from me 🙂 Welcome to my life.

It’s been a lot of fun and amazing cardio. Starting to feel like I’m getting into the flow and rhythm.

But honestly most of my motivation here comes down to energy.

I want to be able to fight… not to fight… but to have the option to fight.

I want to be able to move my body and flow.

I want to cultivate my own courage and confidence.

I want to cultivate that inner aggression and use it.

Reintegration

I spent a lot of time this week going back over my notes from last weekend’s mastermind Intensive and transferring everything to my digital second-brain.

I’ll share my biggest and top 2 takeaways here:

• Permission to be more of myself, awareness to where I’m filtering, awareness to alignment, flow, and friction, and awareness to fear more.
• More space, time, walking, meditation to give shape to creative sparks. Don’t force, but allow for creativity.
  • In this space, think about recent: alignment and flow, friction, fear

And a couple more just to share:

• Can I start to define some of the lines of the container I help people inside of?
  • (more on this in a second)
• Fixing self trust, self belief, feeling abundance, joy, gratitude, energy, wholeness completely independent of other people. Developing the skill of tapping into gratitude and love for realignment.
• Showing more of my mess. Bringing awareness to more of my mess. Where do I feel the micro-friction and hesitation in doing, saying, or showing something out of fear of being seen? Where am I filtering?

Some things I’ve changed so far:

• I’ve been getting back into a bit of a routine again, prioritizing my sleep, blocking out parts of my calendar more – gym, work time, meeting other people, events; adding a bit of structure back into my life.
  • I’m coming out of my party-boy phase 🙂 (yeah yeah yeah I know you’re all disappointed)
• I’m becoming more attuned to where I feel friction and fear in my daily life.
  • Started documenting moments in a note 202507221314 Feeling fear and friction in my life to give myself a space to externalize them.
• And I’ve started filtering less and joking a lot more with people.

Some cheeky examples:

Starting To Define The Container

During the Bali Intensive first crew session I was asked what would be my next step that I could take.

I said that I already have a lot of evidence of helping people, so starting to just bring a little definition to the container that I bring people into. Not to box myself in, but just to understand some of the texture and definition so that I can use it.

I wrote in my takeaways: “I’m already coaching people, just need to define the container, and NOT jump to here’s my price here’s what I do here’s what you’ll get out of it. The safest step is something more like just offer the space and co-create “hey idk what this is but let’s just jam.””

And in a great conversation I had with someone there, he was explaining how the biggest shift for him was in doing THEN understanding. In leading with the body THEN the mind, instead of leading with the mind, trying to understand before doing.

When he did breathwork sessions with people, he basically told people something like “honestly I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I/we have this intention and let’s just see what happens.” It’s more a co-creation journey of doing than understanding with the mind first. And he got amazing feedback.

So funnily enough, I got this message from someone this week:

Wanted to ask you something:
I’ve been feeling quite conflicted lately — torn between staying here in Bali a bit longer versus finally going back home to build something more grounded and sustainable. I’ve been sitting with that question a lot, and I guess I just felt the urge to talk it out with someone.
I really appreciated the conversation we had last time — the way you think about your own path and choices really stuck with me. So I felt a bit of a pull to reach out to you.
No pressure at all if it’s not the right time, just thought I’d ask 🙏

A beautiful data point. And so in thinking about this, I got the idea to reach out to a bunch of people I’ve had conversations with to just get a little feedback from them.

Compared to outreach for YouTube strategy, this went WAYYY smoother, it was kind of wild.

Morning name 🙂 Could ask a super quick favor from you when you get a sec?

I want to learn from your perspective: When you think about the conversations we’ve had together (working through ideas, life, problems, business, etc.)…

• How do you feel before versus after we’ve talked?
• And is there anything unique that you don’t get from conversations with other people?

Any quick thoughts are hugely helpful. I just want to collect a little bit of feedback.

You’re the best ❤️

Sent something like this to 13 people! (which already surprised me)

And here’s some of the feedback I’ve gotten so far:

• I feel much lighter and clearer after we talk. And I think what makes our conversations different is the level of trust – I can be completely open. You also ask really thoughtful questions, which helps me reflect and find my own clarity, rather than just getting advice.
• You’re super open and that’s very unique. That’s not something I’ve experienced every day.
• Talking with you always leaves me feeling more grounded, clear, and expanded than before we talk. I often leave our conversations with new perspectives to consider. You hold space without judgment, which makes it easy to be fully honest, and you ask questions that cut past surface-level thinking and make me examine what I really want or feel.
• Honestly with you it is very special, I feel home.
• (my notes) I help him come to conclusions without inserting my opinion, led him to the idea without doing it myself. I ask the right questions, that’s unique, he doesn’t get too much of. He is used to hearing “what you need is” (and had a negative face/reaction to this when saying it). “Most people give their opinion… and you just… ask questions”
• I felt like I was walking around in a fog with this youtube thing (it felt like TOO MUCH), and you helped to clear that fog enough to see the most simple next step – which was an easy lift into movement and momentum. Your unique offering is a grounded non-judgemental presence that holds space really beautifully, which elicits deeper and more profound reflections. I feel seen and heard, very well by you!
• I felt safe, and heard with you. It’s not often a first meeting that we reach that level of emotional/philosophical/intellectual depth.
• What I can say is that you’re extremely humble. I mean the way you talk is very mature, very grounded, very down to earth, very kind of you’re not someone who just talks about ventures or ideas and just gets excited out of nowhere and then the idea dies down.
• It’s more using you as an outlet to allow myself permission, to be great and to achieve greatness and achieve my dreams. And so what’s really unique about you is that you, you provide the belief and confidence into myself that makes me take action. Like, you know that iconic conversation everything I knew and I wanted to do that literally when you listen to someone, even though that you heard the same answer from other people, it just hits fucking like differently with someone else. And you’re that someone else for me. Which is, you know, I’m super beyond grateful for.
• He has a groundedness and maturity that also positions him as a figure to look up to.

And so if you’ve been following along for a little while, you might now understand why the past 2mo has been such a rollercoaster for me.

Because this isn’t one person one time saying “wow that was a really interesting question.”

This has been a growing and growing mountain of deep-cutting evidence that I can no longer ignore.

But I’m also being extremely patient and careful with all this, as I’ve noted. One of the coaches I was talking to was expressing her hesitation for how I use all this, not to define what I do. Maybe use it for messaging, yes, but “this feedback should not influence you away from what you do, from your actual soul work.”

Rebranding?

So it felt a little bit appropriate to slowly rebranding a little bit more.

Do I love it? Eh.

Is it the highest converting? Nah.

Will I change it again? Yep.

But what matters more is taking a step in a new aligned direction.

Patience, patience, patience.

Other Updates

Breathwork Session

I had a 1-1 breathwork session with someone from Tribal and it was quite intense and interesting.

During the Bali Intensive two breathwork sessions, I mostly just breathed deeply but normally, not that hard. But this session she pushed me pretty hard to breath deeply and intensely, and wow did it make a difference.

My arms curled up and hands tensed up INCREDIBLY hard. Like think almost fully numb, calf-cramp type of tense.

This happened at a lesser scale on the second Intensive session but I moved my arms and wrists to keep the blood flowing.

So there was a point here where I started to try to move my arm and she goes “whatever is happening is perfect :)” and so I just keep it there.

I felt the INTENSE discomfort, the pain, the numbness, and eventually just released trying to control it and went “fuck it, just surrender” and let it happen.

And THAT was a big moment for me.

Tension, tension, pain, conflict… Release. Surrender.

I was in that curled up position for the rest of the whole session and just basically thought to my body “if you need to move, you’ll move” and just trusted it.

And during the second half felt a lot of love and memories (there’s obviously some more here but I’ll keep it personal).

I wasn’t transported to a different dimension or universe like I’ve heard some people experience, but it was a very good session.

We did the session at 7pm and it was kind of wild I woke up the next morning and my Recovery score was 96% despite doing a weight training session. Both my Heart Rate Variability and Resting Heart Rate were among the best I’ve had in 3 months.

Thoughts From The Week

Identity Shifts

202507271036 Being labeled as something you never used to be

#identity 

So this has happened twice now in the last week. And I seem to remember experiencing this one or two other times in the last month or two but I can't remember them now.

It's SUCH an interesting and weird experience.

## First
First was from [name] in her response to my request for feedback.

She goes
> You're super open and that's very unique. That's not something I've experienced every day.

I heard that and had this moment of half surprise and half emptiness in my mind, as if needing to recalibrate.

I was such a closed off person growing up. Basically never opened up, felt like a turtle.


## Second
[[202507251507 Giving the impression that I'm expressive]]

[name] at end she went "you have a very interesting sense of humor" and (something like) "I've never met anyone like that"

I said, "describe it"

She goes "very... expressive... I know how you feel"


I heard this and it was another one of those like identity level shifts, hearing something affirmed that I've never been before in the past

Feels absolutely like a sign from the universe 

I'm at Nirvana working out (right after) and just thinking back to the Bali intensive how I felt the tension wanting to be more expressive, more movement, less filtering...

My inner child...

Felt a little swell of emotion putting those two together :)


## The Reverse
Last time I was in Bali (end of 2023) this happened in reverse.

One of the few people I met was this French guy (who is named as The French Guy™️ in my blog posts) who was super social, always talking to people, always starting new conversations.

I meet him brushing my teeth one night in the bathroom and I go "you're a really social person"

And he almost freezes for a second to process... Then explains to me how he was never a social person before, but that he's been really working on it, being more active, and how it was so meaningful to hear.

And I remember that moment.

It's been so cool to experience it.

Changing My Essence

On a similar note… I feel like I’m a completely different person than 2-3 months ago.

But it’s hard to describe in words, which I guess is why it makes it so interesting to hear from other people.

If I try to explain, it’s like my essence has changed, my energy has changed, I carry myself differently, I walk differently, I act differently, I’m filtering less, I’m more social, I talk to more people, I’m more expressive, I joke more, I speak slower and more intentionally, my voice is deeper…

If you want a glimpse of it, I’m seeing it expressed through my Instagram stories more and more. Having more fun, making more jokes, saying stupid sh*t.

Less cheeky example, putting in the second two stories “Honorable Mentions” poll and my last option. It feels so… “off brand,” but if I’ve learned anything from this last weekend… the authentic “off brand” stuff is exactly what makes it “on brand.”

I no longer care as much as I used to.

I’m a little excited to see how I show up on YouTube (when I get back on it) and compare to my past videos.

The beautiful opportunity that comes from documenting my life.

Surrender

202507260750 Surrendering control to the universe

#surrender

My biggest takeaway from [[202507252111 Breathwork with [name] notes]]

Feeling the pain, feeling the tension, feeling the extreme paralysis and instead of fighting it, allowing it to happen.

Surrendering control...

And in a very literal sense trusting my body. Trusting that if my body needs to move from this position it will move itself.


And fuck man this can be applied to so much of life right now. Stop forcing, start surrendering, start trusting to the universe, to other people.

The Feeling Of Home

202507251027 Do you ever actually feel at home

#home 

Question asked to me by [name]

## Question

A question for you now. You might be sleeping but give it a thought.

‘Do you ever actually feel at home? If so, when?’

I want to know if this feeling ever hits you. If it matters or not, I’m interested :)


## Answer

Hmmm, I feel like I have a weird sense of home.

I haven't had a physical place that feels like home in years since I've been traveling. I've learned to live my life anywhere and everywhere that I am.

Up until recently, home hasn't really meant that much, maybe more like familiarity. And to that, I felt a bit like I was home when I drove back to Denver last year because I'd been there for 2 years off and on.

I felt an interesting feeling when I got back to Kuala Lumpur in February, but maybe it was more familiarity than home.

But the "connectedness" side of home I've started to feel more recently in Bali. Seeing locals at Tribal and Nirvana that recognize me have started to change things. Seeing friends for longer periods of time have changed things.

So I don't really know what home means to me, but if I were to guess, community and people make up a big portion of that feeling, similar to what you concluded.

What’s Next?

This week is gonna be crazy. Buckle up.

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